What my therapist taught me that I’m taking into 2022

Going to therapy has truly been such a life-changing experience for me. And I know to some people, that may sound overly dramatic. But every session I find myself walking out of therapy with the feeling of a large weight being lifted off of my shoulders. Here are some things my therapist taught me that I’m taking into 2022.

I wanted to compile a list of the most important things I’ve learned since starting therapy. All of these things are what I plan to take into 2022. All of these  things are things that I am continuing to work on daily. Some are still much easier than others, but they all continue to be a work in progress. I’ve really started to be more consistent with these practices and changes. And I truly feel a shift in my mental health since I’ve started being more consistent. It feels like the heavy weight I experience on a daily basis diminishes. 

Give myself the same reassurance that I would give to others

My therapist will always ask me what I would tell my best friend if the roles were reversed. Would I tell her she’s crazy? Would I tell her she’s wrong?  It’s easy for me to be put in a situation where I have to give advice to others. Because I can tell everyone else that they are doing absolutely everything correct all day long. I can provide reassurance left and right if I’m giving it to someone else. But when it comes to telling myself the same thing, now that’s a different story. “What would you tell your best friend if the roles were reversed?” 

My therapist always tells me to Imagine that I am speaking to my best friend. He tells me to imagine I’m giving her advice and reassurance. Then to tell myself the same thing. He will always say, “I know you aren’t telling her she’s crazy and that she’s in the wrong. So why are you telling yourself that you are?”. And yes, he’s right.  I’m not telling my best friend she’s crazy or that her thoughts are invalid. I’m telling her it is okay to feel the way she feels and that it’s normal. Giving myself grace and talking to myself the same way I would talk to my best friend. This is extremely important when it comes to managing my guilt. 

Forget the limiting beliefs

When I allow limiting beliefs, I am allowing myself to restrict my feelings. Everyone in the world experiences some sort of limiting beliefs. But the key is learning to identify them in order to proactively prevent them from limiting you. I have always been someone that assumes the worst. And it’s always easier to tell myself things that are going to restrict my feelings and hinder my potential success.

“Everyone experiences limiting beliefs, but learning how to identify them can help you proactively prevent these beliefs from limiting you”.  

Write/journal as much as possible

We’ve been working together for 8+ months. We have been able to identify that using my words and writing it down is something that really works for me. This helps with my healing and my communication. Some people communicate better during conversation, while others do not. For me, writing down my feelings is extremely important to my healing.

Stay away from my Red Zone

I have to find he middle ground between a 1 and a 10 when it comes to my emotions. Especially when it comes to situations/scenarios that I have found myself in within the last year. I have a habit of going from a 1 to a 10 with my emotions and feelings. 1 is being the safe zone, 10 is being the red zone. I’ve been working hard on stopping myself from going from one extreme to another. When it comes to my emotions, I have been able to identify and figure out what it feels like when I am in my red zone.

It is more than okay to allow my emotions to get to a 10 every now and then. Because I am only human. However, it is important for me to practice working on preventing my emotions from going to a 10 every time I face my feelings. I have learned that getting into the red zone can really be detrimental for me, my health, and my safety. It is important for me to practice and remember that it isn’t an all or nothing scale. 

It’s about ME

Putting myself first as a priority has always been difficult for me. After becoming a mother, taking care of myself was placed even further on the backburner. This is something that I hear every therapy session. I can hear therapist saying “take care of YOU. You are important. Focus on you”. 

Continuing To Practice

2022 is going to be another difficult year with processing more and more change. But I know I will continue to implement all the lessons I’ve learned. I will continue to grow as a person and feel more at peace with my emotions and feelings every day.

If you are interested in my other therapy-related blog posts, you can find them here. And as always, if you are interested in finding a therapist I 100% recommend checking out psychologytoday.com