Breakups suck. If you’ve ever found yourself crying on your bedroom floor feeling like you will never be able to go on with your life, I know you will appreciate this post. I’ve had my fair share of realtionships, with plenty of bad breakups. It’s easy to give advice when you’re best friend is going through their first heartbreak, but it’s important to understand that everyone heals differently. The worst advice I ever received after a breakup was to distract myself.
I know you’ve heard it, and maybe you’ve even told one of your girlfriends that the best way to move on is to stay busy. But for me, this is definitely the worst advice I’ve ever received when healing after a breakup; here’s why.
We Are Not The Same
No matter how easy it may be for you to distract yourself after a breakup, that doesn’t mean your best friend will be able to do the same thing. Everyone heals differently. We all have different levels of emotions and reactions when it comes to traumatic events in our life. Just because someone heals/moves on after a breakup pretty easily doesn’t mean it’s going to be the same for everyone.
Time To Heal
It’s SO IMPORTANT to take the appropriate time to grieve. And this doesn’t just go for breakups. This is for any type of grief we experience as humans. We all deserve to heal and feel our feelings. Suppressing emotions isn’t going to make you heal any faster. All it’s going to do is prolong the inevitable, which is going to hurt more in the long run. Distracting yourself from your emotions is not a healthy way to cope with your relationship ending. Take the time you need to heal.
Don’t Shed A Tear, They Don’t Deserve it
Along with being told to distract yourself after a relationship breakup, I’ve also heard this advice. And as much as I would like to say this statement is true – it’s only half true. Yes I believe that your partner doesn’t deserve your tears. But it’s also important that you cry when you need to. If you need to cry, cry it out as long as it takes. The person that broke your heart should never get the pleasure of seeing you cry, but you deserve to feel every emotion you have.
I know it can seem impossible to cheer someone up when they’ve just had their heartbroken, but I always recommend being careful with your words. The worst advice I ever received after a breakup was to ‘distract myself’ in order to not think about the pain or the person. As wonderful as that sounds, unfortunately that’s not reality. Feel your emotions and take the time to grieve is the advice that I wish I would have received instead.
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