The Most important lessons I’ve learned in Therapy

I feel as though I could write a short novel with all the things I’ve learned during my therapy journey so far. It has officially been 1 year since I started seeing my therapist and I can’t even begin to explain the gratitude and relief I have felt during that time. Because I have passed my 1 year anniversary of going to therapy, I decided to take a look back and think about the most important things I have learned during this time.

A few of these include a few things I included in a blog post at the beginning of the year. “What My Therapist Taught Me That I’m Taking Into 2022″. I have been LOVING being able to write about my therapy journey and my mental health. Of course these are not the only things I have learned, because I feel like I learn something new about myself every session. But these are the most important lessons I’ve learned in therapy. 

Don’t fight the grief/emotions

The more I try to hide my emotions and push the negative thoughts further and further in the back of my head, the harder it is for me to heal when they come to the surface in the future. When these feelings and emotions come up again (because they will), the heavier it feels. When I don’t address my emotions in a timely manner, or with the appropriate responses, I can end up finding myself in my ‘red zone. For me, my red zone is extremely overwhelming and it can be a very dangerous place for me to be.

My feelings are valid

Giving myself permission to feel what I am feeling is important. I am a deeply emotional person. My highs are very high, and my lows are extreme. I would always compare myself to my friends, my family, and my co-workers. Never understanding why I would become emotional and struggle with things that other people close to me would not. My feelings and emotions always made me feel crazy. But I have learned that every feeling I have is valid. I am allowed to feel any and every emotion that surfaces.

Being nice to myself is important

It’s easy for me to look at myself and criticize myself that I am not doing enough. I can easily tell myself that I’m not working hard enough, or that I am doing myself a disservice.  But of course, I would never say that to anyone else. I can say that any other human on this planet is doing everything they can and that they need to give themselves a break. Because life is really hard. But I have always struggled to look at myself that same way. I would never give myself any sort of break.  I’m working on being nice to myself and prioritizing “me time”. This is something that really helps my mental health, my emotions, and my grief.

Determine the rating for my emotions when I am in the moment

Within the last year, I have been practicing being more open and honest with my emotions. This includes being more vulnerable than I ever have been.  In the beginning of my therapy journey, I found it difficult to control my emotions. I would be asked during my weekly sessions to rate my emotions from a 1-10. I would more often than not find myself above an 8 because I would let my emotions build up for too long. It’s been a journey for me to stop and identify my ratings in the moment. I’m practicing stepping away and doing my ‘steps’ when I feel my emotions getting above a 5 -6. It has been important for me and my mental health to avoid my red zone. Even if it means addressing my emotions for shorter periods multiple days a week, vs. once a week. Because I can easily become overwhelmed.

“You will always end up okay”

I swear this quote will end up getting tattooed on my body one day. This was something my therapist told me long ago. More often than not he will mention it during every session. He is always reminding me that no matter the heartbreak and pain I am feeling, in the end, I will always end up okay. This is something I always try to tell myself in the moment when I feel like my emotions are getting the best of me. Reminding myself that I have been ‘happy’ before and that there will be a time in my life where I am again. This is something that is really beneficial for me. The current state of my mind, my life, my grief and my emotions might seem completely overwhelming in the moment. But I will always end up okay. 

Therapy has been such an eye opening experience for me. Although I will never understand why there are people in the world who think seeing a therapist is a negative decision. I am forever grateful of the people who openly talk about mental health and going to therapy on the internet. When searching for my therapist, I utilized PsychologyToday. This site led me directly to the therapist I currently have now, and I am forever grateful that I found him when I did.

I have an entire blog post about How To Find The Right Therapist For You.
How to Prepare For Your First Therapy Session is also one of my favorite posts on my blog.

I hope that if you are considering therapy, you take the plunge. You never know until you try.