Should You Get Back Together With An Ex? Maybe you’ve been thinking more about a certain someone from your past. Or maybe you’ve been considering re-kindling an old love to see if the spark is still there. It’s been years since you’ve been apart, so why not try again now? Here’s when it’s okay to get back together with an ex.  

Is it ever a good idea to get back together with someone from your past? Some people might say absolutely not. But I do think there are few circumstances where it is okay to return to your past and give things another go. But there are still plenty of reasons why you should stay away.

When It’s Okay To Get Back Together With An Ex

Getting back together with an ex might be a good idea when;

You’ve Spent The Time Apart to Grow

Maybe you had a young (but serious) relationship in college, but you ended on good terms while taking time apart to grow. When you are young and in a relationship, it’s hard to figure out where you see your life going. You and your partner might have different plans for your future. It takes time and experience to figure out what you want out of your life. It’s definitely okay to give things another shot if you spend time apart to grow as an individual. After the time apart, you might have an even better fit as a couple.

You Are Aware of All The Changes

It can be easier to get back with an ex when you are more aware of the changes that happened when you were apart. After reuniting with an old flame, it’s important to identify the changes that did/did not occur. Maybe you needed time to work on yourself, or your partner needed to make some big changes that they promised they would. If you’ve noticed positive changes, there’s no reason why you can’t give things another go.

You are More Aligned Now Than You Were Before

Maybe time apart gave you the space you needed to grow. After growing more as an individual, your beliefs and values may have changed. Your plans for your future may also be different. After time apart, you and your old flame might be more aligned than you ever were in the past.

There Was No Infidelity

I personally believe it is never a good idea to go back to a relationship when there was infidelity or disrespect. But if this split was amicable and positive, there is no reason why you can’t give it another shot.

When It’s Not Okay To Get Back With An Ex

Reuniting with an ex might be a mistake if you find yourself in the following situations

You’re Still Carrying baggage

If you ended this past relationship on bad terms, odds are you are still carrying baggage. It can be easy to still carry the residual emotional effects from past relationships. If you haven’t processed or resolved the problem, you will find yourself in the same exact cycle with just as much pain.

Constant Fighting

Arguing with your partner doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed. It’s natural and comes with the territory of being in a relationship. But if your past relationship was filled with constant fighting, it’s not a good idea to try this for a second time. Argument cycles can easily occur if the problems haven’t been properly addressed. Just because it’s been a few years since you’ve been together doesn’t mean the arguments will automatically stop.

There is No Trust

Along with previous fighting and carrying baggage, you will never have a successful relationship if there is no trust. Trust is hard to build if you’ve been let down before. And chances are, if you have seen no change in this person (or even yourself), trust issues are probably going to occur again. Lack of trust is a sign of a toxic relationship.

Infidelity

If there was infidelity in your relationship, it’s important that you take the proper amount of time to heal. Experts say it is possible to get back into a trustworthy relationship after infidelity if both people are willing to put in the work. However, building trust after infidelity can be impossible to some. Not every relationship can be successful after someone has been unfaithful. If there was infidelity in your relationship, it’s going to take a lot of extra work and understanding from both you and your partner in order to be successful.

When you are looking for your life partner, you are simply looking for compatibility. You want someone you are compatible with and someone who shares the same goals as you. Maybe you weren’t quite compatible in the past, but after taking time apart to grow, you want to give it another shot. Just because you have spent time apart, it doesn’t necessarily mean that this time around will be successful.

These are some circumstances where it can be okay to rekindle an old flame.

Have you been successful with going back to your past?

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