First, let me start off by saying that I know 2020 has been a rough year for everyone. I know some people are sick of hearing others complain about how terrible this year has been, but it’s important to remember that everyone is fighting their own battles every day – but for some reason, 2020 seems to have been especially difficult for everyone for reasons other than just COVID. Here is a friendly PSA from a new mom in 2020.
I can probably guess that if you are reading this, you can agree to some extent that this year did not go as planned or you. If you are someone who really struggled this year, my heart goes out to you.
Let’s rewind to January of this year where I was almost 9 month pregnant, feeling terrified but very excited to become a new mom and welcome a new baby into the world. I didn’t know what my new life was going to be like, but I did anticipate a whole lot of change…. Little did I know how much change would actually be occurring in the coming months.
This is my friendly PSA from a new mom in 2020.
To those of you reading this, if you know a new mom this year, please just check in on them. This year has been hard for most people, but for a first time mom, we are fighting battles that we never expected. The way I feel may not be the same as every new mom this year, but I really can’t imagine a first time mom saying that this year has been easy. Here are some friendly reminders for you, from a first time mom in 2020.
Know what we are trying our best.
This is our first time being a mom. This is everyone’s first time dealing with a pandemic. This is our first time trying to navigate being a new mom DURING a pandemic. We are doing what we think is right and what we think is best. Please know that we are trying and giving our best effort. Postpartum struggles and insecurities are hard enough – we didn’t plan on adding more stress to this time period.
Do not judge our decisions
This should be common knowledge for everyone at all times; not just for new moms. We are choosing to do what we feel is safe for our baby. We’re sorry if you don’t agree with how careful or overprotective we are being, but our opinions and feelings will trump yours every time.
Don’t assume we are being selfish
We are choosing where we take our child and who we are comfortable with them being around. This is our family and our health is something we are prioritizing. It would make us happier than ever to be able to share our new baby with those of you who haven’t met them out – but the reality is that we can’t. We have to keep their safety a priority
We are struggling
Every day we fight the urge to take our baby out in public in order to get them acclimated to the real world. Every day we see other momma’s making different decisions than we are, and although we may stand by our decisions, this doesn’t mean that we don’t feel guilty. This doesn’t mean that we don’t cry, because we feel like we are neglecting our baby from the real world.
Sometimes we are drowning in guilt
We want more than anything to be able to take our baby out in public in order for them to see the world. We want to be able to go about our life the same way we had been in the years prior. We have guilt when we keep them at home, but we also have more guilt when we take them out of our ‘safe place’.
Please be supportive
Let your mom-friends know that you are supporting their decisions, even though you may not agree with them. We don’t need to feel any more guilt from people who are supposed to care about our well-being and our overall health. Let them know that it’s not their fault and that you love them and understand. Send them care packages of new things to do with their babies in order to help them feel like they aren’t failing at being a mom. But if for some reason you truly don’t agree and can’t be supportive, please just don’t say anything at all.
Know that this year, new moms are probably struggling more than you think. But there are some new mom’s out there who are probably doing better than others. Overall, understand that every day we face guilt of not being able to provide our new baby with normal experiences.
We can’t take them out to restaurants worry free.
We can’t take them out with us while we run errands because that’s not as simple as it used to be.
We can’t take our babies out in public without them being scared because when they look at us, all they see is a mask covering our face.
We don’t get to take them to see their grandparents because we don’t want to risk the extremely vulnerable.
We don’t get to take them out as often as we would like, but we know in the back of our minds that we are doing our best to keep them safe.
We really just need the support. We need you to understand that our first year with our new baby is different than we ever imagined it would be.
Know that this year has been a whirlwind of emotions, as if postpartum struggles weren’t bad enough.
We need you to know that we are doing our best.
Sincerely,
A very tired/overwhelmed new mom in 2020.
