Lessons After Heartbreak

Just like many other female when they start dating in high school or in college, I had my heart completely broken. And when I say that, I mean I was absolutely BROKEN inside. I truly thought I would never heal again. The severity of the pain with this type of heartbreak was something I had never experienced. It wasn’t until after I found closure and complete healing where I learned the lessons from all of the pain. This is How my first heartbreak changed who I was and what I wanted in future relationships.  My Lessons After Heartbreak:

I learned what I valued in a relationship.

What I was receiving in that relationship was the exact opposite of what I wanted my significant other to be doing. After getting my heart broken I learned what I prioritized in relationships. When I finally got over the grief of that relationship, I made it a point to focus on what I needed and what I deserved. And If someone wasn’t able to consistently provide me with what I wanted, I wasn’t going to waste my time. My values and non-negotiable was put on my top priority list.

There were indeed other lessons to be learned

After my first big heartbreak, I realized that there will always be lessons hidden underneath the pain. Whether its a romantic relationship or even a friendship, there will always be lessons to be learned – sometimes you just have to dig a little deeper. I didn’t recognize any lessons until I felt completely healed. It was then that I learned valuable lessons that carried me into the rest of my life.

There is a huge difference between Lust and Love

It wasn’t until I found my now husband that I was able to actually understand the true meaning of love. High school (and even college) relationships, what I thought was “love” all this time, turned out to be exactly the opposite. Because I thought the ‘love’ that I was feeling was actually lust, my focus was more on intimacy vs. building a secure relationship. With unhealthy relationships come unhealthy behaviors. Unhealthy behaviors lead to a dying relationship. And that’s exactly what happened. Learning the difference between lust and love played a huge role in finding future serious relationships that were focused on love instead of lust.  

Breaking up gave me the biggest reset I never knew I needed

My biggest heartbreak led me into the biggest self-love journey I could have ever imagined. Although it took weeks and months of pain and so many tears cried, I began to grow into the person I always wanted to be. After realizing I didn’t need to rely on someone else for my happiness, I was able to put myself first and give myself a full-body reset and a chance to start over from the beginning. 

Pain will always be temporary. 

No matter the amount of pain that you are feeling, it will always be temporary. My heart was completely shattered after my first big heartbreak… But I guess that’s why they call it a heartbreak right? I was completely shell-shocked, and thought I was going to be broken forever. I thought I was broken beyond repair, and that I would never be able to piece myself back together. Although it took time, the pain did end up subsiding. And still to this day I am reminded that pain will always be temporary, no matter what is going on in my life.

I would never lose myself again

When you are in ‘love’, or when you think the relationship that you’re in is the forever one, you are probably giving your entire being into that other person. And that was the case for me. During this relationship, I gave my entire soul to this other person. I thought giving everything to them would mean they would never leave. But after my heartbreak, I promised myself that I would never give my all to a person again. I promised myself that I would put myself first into any new relationship I started. After all of the heartbreak, I realized that the only person that would always be there for me was myself. Losing myself made it much harder to heal.

There are so many things I wish I could tell my 19 year-old self going through this heartbreak. One of them being there are indeed Lessons After Heartbreak. There are so many words of wisdom and advice that would have helped heal the pain in that moment. But had I talked myself out of the pain, I would never have grown into the person I am today. I would have never prioritized myself in a relationship, and I never would have had the major shift in my self-love journey.

No matter the intensity of the pain, there are always Lessons After Heartbreak.

For more blog posts on my lessons learned, check out my very first (and favorite) post I’ve ever written: Dear 15-year old me.

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