How To Move On After A Breakup
More often than not, breakups are hard. You might be letting go of a long relationship because it no longer brings you happiness. Or you might be the one who was broken up with. Whatever the reason may be, moving on can be really hard. And sometimes you just don’t know where to start. Here are some tips on how to move on after a breakup.
Take The Time You Need To Cry
As I mentioned in my previous blog post (The Worst advice I ever got after a breakup), I think the most important thing you can do is to let yourself feel the emotions. Don’t let your friends and family try to minimize your feelings. They might even encourage you to move on or keep yourself busy. But if you want to have healthy patterns and emotions, take the time you need to let yourself be hurt and cry. There is not timeline for when you are going to feel better. Cry as much as you need to and don’t let anyone tell you they aren’t worth your tears, because it’s not about them. It’s about you and letting yourself feel whatever emotions you need to feel.
Get back into a routine
You can still get back into your routine even if your day starts and ends with a long cry. Jumping back into your normal routine of adequate sleep, proper nutrition, working out, and doing the hobbies you enjoy are key to helping you move on after a breakup. Sure, you might spend a few days crying on the couch feeling completely unmotivated. But after a few days try to get back into your routine by adding in a small task every day. Even if you cry during every task, try to let yourself get back into a routine sooner than later.
Talk about your feelings
I remember during one of my worst breakups in college I had no one to discuss my emotions with. And looking back I really feel like that made the healing process that much harder. I was being told by friends and family that it was just a “college relationship” and it was “nothing serious”. I think being able to talk about all of the emotions I was feeling in that moment would have made me feel heard and understood. Minimizing your emotions or feelings isn’t the answer. I know it can be hard to talk about the pain, but talk to anyone who is willing to listen. Getting the feelings out of your system will bring a huge sigh of relief and help you in the long run.
Prioritize Girl Time (Or guy Time).
When you go through a heartbreak, it’s easy to feel like your life is over. Especially if this was a relationship that you thought would last forever. I truly feel like their is no better medicine for heartbreak than time with your girlfriends. When you are ready to get back into your social life (after you’ve taken the time to cry and talk about your feelings), get back out there and plan a girls night out. There truly is no better medicine than laughter and good times with your best friends. It will bring you a sign of relief and give you a good break, if even only temporary.
Rediscover yourself
As painful as a breakup can be, sometimes it can be exactly what you need to find yourself again. It’s easy for us to get caught up in the relationship and sometimes lose ourselves and the things we enjoy. So if you are recently out of a breakup, use this time to find yourself again. MAybe this means trying new hobbies, or moving to a new city for more independence. Whatever it may be, take the opportunity to try new things and better yourself as a person. Sometimes a breakup is the best way to find our true potential.
Learn from it
Once you find yourself able to emotionally and mentally think about the relationship again (without getting upset), this is the time to figure out what you need going forward. Now that you aren’t clouded with the pain and heartbreak, you may be able to identify what non-negotiables and priorities you want in future relationships. As time goes on, you will be able to identify what went wrong or how that relationship made you feel overall. You will always learn from every relationship you have. Take what you learn and apply it towards your future relationships.
Breakups suck. There’s no way around it. You have probably found yourself in a bad breakup at one point in your life. And I’m sure the healing process wasn’t easy. No matter how hard the heartbreak may feel at the time, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to find it. Letting yourself feel emotions, talking about it, getting back into a routine and learning from the past are great tips on how to move on after a breakup.
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