How To Be Supportive When Your Partner Has Depression
If you’ve never experienced depression or anxiety for yourself, then it may be hard for you to understand what’s going on if your partner is struggling. Anxiety disorders often go hand in hand with depression. As someone who has dealt with significant depression in the past, I didn’t really know the answer if someone asked me how they could help. I never knew what would make me feel better, but all I knew is that I wanted to feel “normal”. It wasn’t until years of therapy and medication where I finally figured out what was helpful to me whenever I was struggling. Here’s how to be supportive when your partner has depression.
Communicate And Understand
First and foremost it is important to communicate with your partner. If they expressed to you that they are feeling depressed or have had a history of depression in the past, listen to them. Ask questions in order to fully understand where they are coming from. Sometimes they might not have a ‘reason’ for their depression.
When I was first diagnosed with depression years ago, I felt extremely overwhelmed and lost. I didn’t know why I was feeling the way I felt. It was very difficult for me to explain it to my partner because I didn’t think he would understand. And you as a partner might not understand fully why or how they are feeling depressed. There simply is an imbalance of chemicals in the brain when someone is experiencing depression/anxiety. Communicate with your partner that you are available to help will show them that they are supported and they have someone in their corner. Be supportive and non-judgmental.
*It is important for you and your partner to be able to identify the severity of their state. It will be difficult to manage if there is not open and honest communication*
Take time for you
It can be more than exhausting to be a supportive partner if your loved one is suffering from depression. Although it is important to be supportive, it is also a top priority to make sure you are taking time for yourself. You will not be able to be a supportive partner if you are feeling drained.
Encourage outside help
There is nothing wrong with receiving outside help for your mental health when it gets to be too much to handle. I am a huge advocate for therapy and medication when needed. Because sometimes that may be the only thing that can help. If your partner is really struggling and nothing seems to be working, encourage them to speak with a professional. Maybe your partner has only expressed their depression with you because they aren’t comfortable with reaching out for help just yet. If your partner can start expressing their feelings with other people (as willing), you will start to feel a huge weight off your shoulders. It makes a big difference knowing that you aren’t the only person your loved one can depend on. Offer to go speak to a psychologist or counselor with them and continue to be supportive and available for sessions as needed. As the sessions continue, your partner should grow more confident to continue without you there.
Loving someone with depression can be a very touchy and difficult subject. That journey can be draining and frustrating at the same time. I have been on both sides of this story with having depression while also loving someone with anxiety. It can be emotionally draining to be supportive while also trying to deal with your own problems.
The most important thing I’ve learned in my mental health journey (as well as my partners) is that communication can really change the direction of your relationship. When there is no communication, there is no support. It will not be an easy road for you and your partner, but with open communication your relationship will be successful.
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