Dear New Momma,

How are you doing? Has anyone asked you that lately? If not, I’m asking you now. How are you doing? How are you feeling? Are you getting enough sleep? Have you been eating better? Are you taking time for some self-care? During this new transition, you are allowed to feel every emotion that you are feeling. Dear New Momma, I’m here to tell you a few things. Please take a few minutes out of your busy schedule and listen. 

How Are You Doing?

If no one has asked you recently how you are doing, don’t be angry. Everyone has their own life and own personal struggles that they are facing (you know better than anyone right now, time easily slips away).  Family members/friends have probably forgotten to check in on you, but that’s 100% okay. For now, I’M HERE for you. I’M HERE to ask you how you’re doing. I’m here for you to be fully transparent and to provide you with some support.

Right off the bat, I want to tell you this: don’t expect everyone in your life to reach out to you every day to make sure you’re okay. In reality, that rarely ever happens.  Everyone has their own life and their own daily tasks that they have to do.  Checking in on you may not be their top priority.  They might ask your significant other how you’re doing, but they might not ask you.  But if they want a real answer, they aren’t going to get that from anyone but you. You are the only person who knows what is going on in your head. You are the only person who knows the mental battles you are facing every single day. Does this mean you’re weak? Absolutely not. It means that you are human, and you are accepting your emotions as they come.

I want you to go back to the day you found out you were pregnant. Were you happy? Sad? Scared? Overwhelmed? Or maybe even all of the above?  I’ve been there, I totally understand. Just know that these feelings will continue to stick around long after you give birth. You will always have days of happiness. You will always have moments of sadness. You will always experience fear, wondering if you are doing anything right. You will definitely feel overwhelmed most days. Don’t let any of these feelings push you into a dark place. I think that’s what all new moms are scared of, right? Falling into that dark place and not being able to get out? Postpartum depression is a real thing. And if you’re facing it, I’m here for you.
I get you, momma.  I’ve been where you are.  You’re doing a great job. 

I can see your heart. I can see the amount of love you have for your new baby. You want to give them so much love and attention, but you are constantly fighting this battle of wondering if you’re doing enough. Their cries have you in a panic,  and you’re wondering if they’re in pain. Their struggle of sleeping through the night has you stressed to the max. Their fussiness has you frustrated more than you ever thought possible because you don’t know what’s wrong with them.  But most importantly, their smile and laugh has you remembering that it’s all worth it.
I get you, momma. I’ve been where you are.  You’re doing a great job. 

I can see how hard it is. I can see you struggling to keep everything in your life from falling apart. Your house, your marriage, your job, your friendships, and your newborn baby. It is all a balancing act that you have yet to perfect. After all, you haven’t had much time to practice.  Don’t worry dear, you will get the hang of it.
I get you, momma. I’ve been where you are. You’re doing a great job.

I know what you’re going through. It’s not easy, AT ALL. No one will ever admit that this job is a piece of cake. In fact, this will probably be the hardest job you will ever have. But my dear, it is by far the most rewarding.  You may not see it now, but you will get to a place where you can lay your head on your pillow at night and know that you are doing everything you’re supposed to do. Those first few weeks of night terrors and constant anxiety will eventually go away.
I get you, momma. I’ve been where you are.  You’re doing a great job. 

I know what it’s like those first few weeks of being a new momma. Feeling so exhausted that you can’t even keep your eyes open. You want so badly to “sleep when the baby sleeps”, but it’s not that easy for you. You’ve got a million other things running through your mind and your brain won’t shut off. You are the definition of an emotional rollercoaster. One minute you are enjoying all of the laughs and cuddles that your newborn baby has brought to you, and the next you are sitting in their nursery at 2 a.m. crying because you can’t get them to sleep. This roller coaster will eventually come to a stop, but in the meantime you have to enjoy the ride, as they are only this little for so long. The emotions you will experience WILL come to an end. 
I get you, momma. I’ve been where you are.  You’re doing a great job.  

Not only are you fighting your uncontrollable emotions every day, but you are also in the process of healing your body after a major life event. Everything hurts. More aches and pains happen every single day. Aren’t you supposed to feel better as the days go on? I promise, you will get there. You will feel pain like you’ve never felt before. And it’s not just the physical pain. It’s the emotional, mental and physical all tied up into one. But remember, I am here for you. No one understands what you’re going through more than I do. 
I get you, momma.  I’ve been where you are. You’re doing a great job.

This new stage in your life is HARD. There is no denying that. Motherhood is EXHAUSTING. You’re probably wearing the same pair of pants you’ve had on for the past few days (if you’re even wearing pants at all- take that as a huge win, because some of us don’t even make it that far). Your hair is an absolute mess and you don’t remember the last time you put a brush through it. You don’t remember the last time you showered (and the last time you shaved? HAH. That’s laughable. But Normal). You haven’t cooked a healthy meal in what feels like a month. That’s okay momma. Did you hear me? THAT’S OKAY. Despite all the things that you haven’t gotten done since coming home from the hospital, you have done one of the most important things you could ever do, and that’s being a mom. 
I get you, momma.  I’ve been where you are.   You’re doing a great job.  

Please don’t try to be “super mom”. A “super mom” doesn’t exist.  People think that being a super mom means that you keep the house clean and have all the laundry folded with all the dishes out of the sink. People think that being a super mom means you have a home cooked meal on the table for your family every night. People think that being a super mom means that you’ve got everything under control while working a full time job.
To me, being a super mom means that YOU ARE A MOTHER WHO IS DOING YOUR BEST WITH YOUR NEWBORN BABY. Don’t try to be the world’s definition of a “super mom”.  Don’t let society’s definition of a “super mom” define you. I am a super mom for my own reasons.  Just like you’re a super mom for your own reasons. You’re doing the best you can every single day, and that is always enough.
I get you, momma. I’ve been where you are. You’re doing a great job.  

You will be fighting a constant battle with yourself every.single.day. You will have days where you feel on top of the world because you got your baby to nap 2 hours so you could get some housework done. Then you will have days where you are fighting loneliness harder than you ever imagined (this is a feeling that you will never be able to explain).
I get you, momma. I’ve been where you are.  You are doing a great job.

All those late nights that turn into early mornings, they make you feel so many things. You feel everything and nothing all at once.  All of the things you are experiencing are normal. This is a new phase of life you are entering, and no one goes into motherhood with a perfect plan of what they’re going to do. You will soon learn that any plans you have will never actually work. Your new baby will call the shots, and you are there to follow along. So throw that plan out the window, because you don’t need to follow anything other than your heart and the needs of your baby.
I get you, momma. I’ve been where you are. You are doing a great job.

You’re a working mom? You’re a badass. You’re a stay-at-home mom? You’re a badass. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that being a working mom is selfish. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that being a stay at home mom is easy. You know the love you have for your baby, and that’s the only opinion that matters.
I get you, momma. I’ve been where you are. You are doing a great job.

Every woman is different. I don’t know your story, I don’t know what you’ve been through. But I do know this: I am here for you, because motherhood is HARD.  It is the hardest job on the planet.  Whether you’re a single mom, a mother of multiples, an adoptive mother, a working mother, or a stay-at-home mother. You have the hardest but most rewarding job on the planet. Keep up the good work, and know you aren’t alone, even though it may always feels like you are.

I get you, momma.  I’ve been where you are.  You are doing a great job.