Dear 15 year old me

I first wrote this post in an old google document about 7 years ago. I came across it recently and I knew I would be adding it to my blog. This is something I think everyone should do – write out all of the lessons you would tell your younger self.  It doesn’t have to be a list of 50 tips, but maybe a few of your most important lessons that you have learned in the time you have been on this earth. This is such a good exercise of self-reflection that I guarantee you will enjoy when you put it on paper. It will bring up memories; good and bad. But in my opinion, all memories turn out to be ‘good’ in some way. This is the letter to my younger self.

Dear 15 Year Old Me

Take a leap of faith.

I can’t even begin to count how bravery will reward you in this thing we call life. Some of these leaps of faith may be big, and some may be small. However, they will never disappoint you. The only way you could disappoint yourself is to never try.  By holding back and staying in your comfort zone, you will begin to feel the most disappointment in yourself. When you take a leap of faith, it not only makes you stronger in the long run, but you will no longer be scared when the next leap of faith comes around.

Say “I love you” as much as you can.

Those individuals who are in your life now, may not be in your life forever. Even in one year, your friendship circle will completely change based on the choices you make. Now this doesn’t mean to sit back and never take those “leaps of faith” because you want the same people in your life forever; because these individuals may not end up in your life based on circumstances and situations you can’t control.  So for now, those people in your life you tell everything to, those friends you share your secrets with, and even those loved ones you fight with on a daily basis, tell them you love them no matter how angry you may be. If there is one thing you learn after 12 years, it would be that at any given moment, everything can change. Appreciate those who you love, for they may not be there forever.

Everything happens for a reason.

As cliché as this quote may be, I can’t think of a better description of this “life”. That broken heart you feel will teach you the value of a real relationship, and what true happiness really is. That extreme and irrational fight you have with your best friend will show you that even the strongest bonds can be broken no matter how unbreakable you think they are; you will understand the value of what a friendship should be.  That argument with your parents will probably end up with you being without technology for a few weeks – but it will teach you that your parents really do know what’s best (you will admit that some day). Everything happens for a reason, and I cannot stress that enough. Those leaps of faith you take will lead you into the direction you have always wanted to go to, but have always been too scared to try. Your life has a journey, and your heart will lead you to that journey, and everything WILL be okay for you in the end.

People are going to hurt you.

The amount of heartbreak you will experience in your life is something you will not be able to prepare for.  You will feel like there is no end in sight, but I promise you, there is. There is no stopping the pain. You’re going to have those heartbreaks from relationships and backstabbing situations from those closest to you. You will spend for what seems like forever, trying to figure out where you went wrong, or what you could have done differently.  You will even spend some time thinking of much darker things. However, you can’t let that stop you from trusting again. You will have a new found understanding of what you look for in another individual. And once you find these individuals, laugh, smile and be happy. Don’t look back on previous pain. Enjoy the moment, and enjoy those individuals who bring you that happiness.

Don’t crumble from uncertainty.

What teenager doesn’t question what they want to do in their life?  You will question your direction more times than you can count, and at times you may feel like there is no answer.  But you know who you are, and it is your heart and your dreams that you need to follow. You know what’s right for you, and only you will ever know where your passion lies.  Uncertainty is a given, but you should never let it scare you. It is a natural part of growing up. And although it may take a while to figure out what truly makes you happy, never give up and throw in the towel.  This is just the beginning of your life, and you will have plenty of time to explore and find exactly what you have been looking for for all these years. You need to follow your heart. Follow the path that will lead you to what you are passionate about.  This is what will make for a great life.

Believe in Second Chances.

“Sometimes all you need is a second chance, because time wasn’t ready for the first”. You will hear and see this quote over and over again before it truly applies to you.  Just because something didn’t work out the first go-round, doesn’t mean it won’t come back around and try again.  And this time, you will be ready. Don’t hold grudges, because everyone deserves a second chance. Friends, Family, Relationships – they will all be a testament to this quote.  You will never regret a second chance, because EVERYTHING happens for a reason. There will be one specific instance where a second chance will change your life completely- for the better.  And I promise you, you don’t want to miss out on that.

Que Sera, Sera

Whatever will be, will be.

You will feel as though you can change every single thing that happens to you in your life.  But the truth is, you can’t. And you will find out in the most heartbreaking ways. However your heart is also strong, and will heal with time.  You will always second guess yourself by saying “well if I would have done this”, or “if I would have done that, things wouldn’t be this way”. But in all reality, the universe has a plan, and majority of the time you will have no control over that.  You will question whether you did enough, or if you did too much. But whatever is meant to be, will be. Trust and believe that you are doing everything right, but don’t stress over what more you could have done. Worrying doesn’t make the situation go away, and you will worry yourself into a hole that will take you a long time to get out of.   Whatever will be, will be. What matters most, is how you will walk through the fire.

After millions of memories, loads of uncontrollable laughter, buckets and buckets of tears, and 12 years later, you are still in one piece, and you are still you.  You have made it through the most spontaneous and best years of your life. Although the road may have been rocky, you will make it with that big heart of yours. You know what is best for you, and you have been able to prove to everyone that you are in charge of your life, and you will follow your arrow, wherever it points.  Enjoy these young care-free years, for once they are gone, you will never be able to get them back.

You will not have a plan for everything.

Along with you needing to understanding that everything happens for a reason, you need to understand that you do not have control over everything in your life.  You are a huge type A. You love lists, you love organization, and you love crossing things off your to-do list. But your life is not a to-do list. You will end up in more than a few situations that will make you question everything.  You will try to ‘fix’ what is happening, because it was never part of your plan. But you need to trust, and allow the universe to take control sometimes. You are capable of so much more than you originally thought, and this is what will get your through.  You will succeed and fail. But your successes will make up for all of your failures that weren’t really failures at all.

You don’t need to be anyone but yourself. Be that positive influence.

You were raised to put other people before yourself.  Your parents instilled that in you from the moment you could talk.  They always taught you to think of others, and to be thankful for what you had- but also how to share it.  Remember that even the smallest of acts will affect someone for life. You will go through your life remembering these values and you will use it to your advantage when choosing a career.  This career will give you the satisfaction every day of knowing how you helped someone. Unfortunately you will come across some people that will not show their appreciation as you think that they should.  But luckily there will be others that could not show their appreciation more. And you will remember their appreciation for life.

Your parents love you, and they only want what is best for you.

Sometimes you love them and sometimes you don’t (or so you say).  And more times than not, you will wish that they would mind their own business.  But everything they do for you is done out of love, and it is to help you grow into the person you are today.  You will test them, and they will test you. Your phone conversations filled with yelling and screaming because you will think that you were right. You will think that all of their consequences to your actions are unfair and unreasonable.  As much as you push them away, they will have your back and support you through all of the milestones in your life. You will never understand the things that they do, but as you get older you will realize that they were right all along. And you will hate to admit that. Most importantly, cherish those memories with them.  Time doesn’t slow down for anyone.

There are endless amounts of tips that I could tell you, but these are the most important. These are the things that will impact your life the most. These are the things that will get you to where you are today.  You will never always have the right answer. Work your way to the top, and understand that life is a process. You will fail, and you will succeed. The most important thing is that you stay true to yourself, and appreciate every moment.

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