This is Why I Didn’t Change My Name After Marriage. 

This year will mark 5 years since my husband and I got married. And I still have my maiden name. In all honesty, I never really considered changing my name, even before I met my husband. I’m not totally sure if I will ever change my name, but if I do, I know it won’t be any time soon. This is why I didn’t change my name after marriage.

I am going to preface this by saying there is absolutely a chance that I will change my name in the years to come. But as of right now, I have no immediate plans. 

Why I Didn’t Change My Name

My name is my identity

I never realized how much of a ‘loss’ it was going to be until I sat down and considered taking my husband’s name. I immediately felt like I was going to lose a piece of myself, and a piece of my family. My siblings will not be having children, so I am truly the last ‘Clarkson’ in my family. My identity for 29 years behind my name, and right now, I’m not ready to let go of that part of my identity. 

Changing your name is a Shit ton of work

Even with the little research I did in regards to changing my name, I became completely overwhelmed. You can’t just change your license and be done with it. You have social security cards, bank statements, wills, legal documents, passports, credit cards, insurance, etc. The list goes on and on. The amount of paperwork that is required to change your name is an enormous task, and if my decision ever changes, I think I’m going to take an entire week off of work in order to change every single document that has my name on it.

Sharing the same name doesn’t make your marriage any more ‘real’

The older I became, I realized that people feel similar about changing their name and the idea of ‘marriage’ as a whole. Why do you need to get married to show your love? Why do you need to change your name to show your love? I love my husband, and he knows that. But our marriage will not make or break depending on if I change my name or not. I get why people don’t think getting ‘married’ is a necessity (although I don’t necessarily agree), but I do have that similar mentality about changing your name after you get married. After all, it’s just a piece of paper with a name on it.

How To Decide If You Should Change Your Name?

The reasons above are the three reasons why I didn’t change my name after I got married. My name is who I am, I’m lazy, and I don’t think changing my name would intensify the love for my husband or our marriage. Now when it comes to you and your decision, this is 1000% up to you! To each their own! I  know not everyone will agree with my reasoning, and I know there are women out there who are so excited to finally change their name. 

If you are on the fence about changing your name, I want you to sit and think about a few things:

1. Are you looking forward to changing your name?
2. What reservations do you have about changing it? Losing your identity? Not sure how to change your name? Unsure how it would work with your future children? Worried about what your partner will think if you don’t? Determine what the actual reason is that is holding your back from changing your name 

It’s Okay To Take Time

This isn’t a decision that needs to be be made right away. This is a huge decision for some people, and it’s okay if it takes a few years to finally decide that you want to change your name. It is important to take into consideration what you want to do. Yes, your partner may not understand the struggle, and that’s okay. Be sure to make the decision based on what you want to do, and make sure you are comfortable with it.

As for me, I do think there is a chance down the road where I may really consider changing my name, but with the amount of work it takes to change every document, I think I’m going to be sticking with Clarkson for a while.

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