An Open Letter To A First Time Mom

As if realizing you’re going to become a mom isn’t emotional enough, you will come across so many people who are wanting to give you every type of advice that they think you will need. This is an Open Letter To A First Time Mom.

This letter won’t give unsolicited advice; I’m not going to tell you what items to put on your baby registry, what your sleep schedule should be like, or the best products that you absolutely need to buy for postpartum. This letter is to the first time mom who may need some encouragement and reassurance that this journey is going to be extremely emotional, but worth every second. 

Resources and books:

If I could go back in time, I would definitely research more books and listen to less independent birthing stories from strangers I followed on Instagram. Although I knew every experience would be different, I truly didn’t realize how different my experience would be compared to what I read in the books or on the internet. I wish I would have invested in a few books that made me feel comfortable and prepared.

Don’t overwhelm yourself by joining every Mom group on Facebook, purchasing every birthing book or researching every Mom Blog on the internet. Invest your time in finding a few reliable books that will help you feel at ease with the journey you are embarking on. Hearing people’s stories can be overwhelming for you, and you may set up expectations for yourself and for your pregnancy that may be unreachable. You want to try to calm your nerves and prepare yourself as realistically as possible. Don’t join all the facebook Mom groups because you feel like you have to. Sure, it can be a great resource to connect with others who are in similar situations, but it can quickly become overwhelming and stressful.

My Favorite Book

This is a book I purchased a few months after giving birth that I wished I purchased prior. It has all the encouragement and reassurance that I needed. This book told me that I was doing everything right. It helps you to stop questioning every decision you make. This book really brought some good relief when I needed it the most. 

Registry

I remember walking into our registry appointment feeling completely overwhelmed. Why where there so many options for pacifiers or bottles? I truly thought all bottles were the same (you will learn the difference when you are trialing them with your new baby). Go home and do some of your own research about what every bottle is for, or what pacifiers are good for what age. You can always come back and add things as you please.
Make sure things are realistic, and put things on your registry that make sense to YOU. 

Postpartum 

I am sending you a virtual hug right now. Postpartum is HARD. It is going to be very overwhelming. Even immediately after birth you are going to feel so exhausted and tired, but also filled with so much joy. Your body is going to start healing and your emotions are going to be all over the place. If you feel like you need to see your doctor soon after giving birth, please, schedule the appointment. The fact that new mom’s only see their doctor once in 6 weeks after giving birth? This should be absolutely unacceptable. If something seems wrong, go to the doctor. Your health and healing postpartum should be a priority for you.

Asking For Help

Ask for help if you need it and check in with yourself, because postpartum is different for everyone.  Emotions are all over the place during this time. For me, I was extremely anxious, sore, tired, sad, and overwhelmed. Of course I was also happy- but all the negative emotions really overtook the happiness I was feeling. Ask for help from your partner, family or doctor. It is okay to ask for help because this is a moment you want to try to enjoy as much as possible. Asking for help shouldn’t make you feel ashamed.

The first year

This first year of your baby’s life is going to seem so overwhelming because the reality is, you’ve never done this before. You are learning a whole new routine for yourself, your spouse and your new baby. Try to slow down and enjoy the moments as much as you can… but it is more than okay if you don’t enjoy every second motherhood. 

New Journey

This new journey in your life is probably going to be very different than you expected. But no matter how different this journey may be, it is important to tell yourself that you are doing a fantastic job, and there is no one in the world that would be a better mother to your children than you. It isn’t about perfection. You will miss appointments, your house may be a mess, you may order take-out more often than you did before, but it is all about the happiness and health of you and your new baby. This is a learning process for everyone, but it is important that YOU learn along the way about things that make YOU feel comfortable and happy.

Everything will be okay, I promise.

If you are reading this as a first time mom, my heart goes out to you. There are so many things I wish I could tell my past self. I am giving you all the virtual hugs, because I’m sure you aren’t getting enough hugs and reassurance that you would like. It is such a difficult yet rewarding job.

Check out my other blog posts related to all things motherhood, here.

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